Talk:Chapter 6/@comment-5047861-20131102050056

Summary of my edits:


 * Actions tie to emotions. 'Gawked' and 'stared' and 'amazed' can all produce many different moods in many different contexts, thus I added certain adjectives that really *define* a specific mood. Which also brings me to mention, if you're feeling stuck or don't know what's making something dull, try to remember the *mood* you're writing.


 * Keep said mood consistent. Every description should tie to it, i.e. some of your words seemed out of place like "stared in amazement." Should specify that it's more of a bad kind of amazement - at least that's how I interpeted it, I dunno.

Anyway, I could always just go more into detail with this later on chat if you want. I'll have to come back later to work on this, but nice chap so far!